How lucky did I get? I base...daily...my frame of mind on the things that are happening around me. Maybe this is good. Maybe this is bad. Maybe it's a good mix of the two. I think the latter of the three is probably most accurate. Tonight my sweetest reason(s) to live are with their father. So I have been home and cooked. I made a fabulous Shepherd's Pie. If I weren't so lazy, I would totally post the link for you all to enjoy as much as TSMA and I did with some friends. Buuuuuuutttt...I'm definitely that lazy and don't feel the need to share my phenomenal recipe with all you losers.
Anyway...I did have a point when I started this, but then when Comcast started behaving like a God damn twat waffle and wouldn't play my Mike Rowe in the background for me, which led to my cursing the television, smacking my sexy man in the arm and demanding, "KEVY! Why the shit isn't this working??? The picture is there but I can't hear it. There isn't any audio." He instructed me to turn the cable box off and try again. I petted his pretty little head and apologized for waking him for such a stupid thing. I did what he said. It WORKED. And then, the commercial played AND IT STOPPED FUCKING WORKING. And this is where shit got bad.
I seriously started this mother fucking post while TSMA was falling asleep with an arm around me, my kitten was half asleep in my God damn lap, Mike Rowe was on the telly-poo and I was thinking, "HOW did I get so LUCKY?". I was going to elaborate, in detail, about those little, wonderful things and then Comcast RUINED MY LIFE.
I'm so mad I don't even want to talk about it. I only want to throw the remote at the TV and call it a day. I had the most wonderful man in the world, falling asleep at my side, an arm draped over me. I had the world's most beautiful kitten asleep on my arm and the most intelligent man in television playing On Demand. I was missing my wonderful, lovely children. I was thinking about tucking them into bed. But I was happy. I was going to tell you three unique individuals, just how happy I was. And then Comcast happened. They RUIN EVERYTHING. They are a gigantic conglomerate. You have NO choice. So they can charge you whatever they deem fit. And fine. Good job, Capitalism. BUT, and here's where I get MAD, when you want to crawl into your bed with THE sexiest man alive, let your kitty fall asleep at your side, think about the beautiful way you're raising your kids and how all you do will pay off one day and watch your God damn 6th favorite man EVER talk about drinking urine in the morning and COMCAST can't get their fucking shit together, it really fucking pisses me off.
Because I was so utterly annoyed with the fact I couldn't HEAR...yeah...they're so retarded they can't figure out audio....I was so annoyed I restarted everything at TSMA's suggestion and then THEY DID IT AGAIN. And that is when he rolled over, the kitten jumped off the bed, I can assume my offspring rolled over in bed. They all got annoyed with me because the one time I wanted to watch something that was just for me...I watch everything with and for everyone in my life and that's okay but this time, this time it was just for me...The mother fucking CABLE is a God damn asshole.
I HATE FUCKING COMCAST.
Sunday, November 2, 2014
Monday, October 13, 2014
This song has been a constant in mylife for far too long. http://m.youtube.com/results?q=goddamn%20lonely%20love%20drive%20by%20truckers%20&sm=1
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
Cheers, bitches...
So...I started a post earlier tonight that was fueled by bullshit I never normally engage in. I'm pretty passive by nature. It's just kind of engrained in my genetics. After thinking about it some, I decided this was a much more uplifting and worth-my-effort expenditure of energy and brilliance.
So, here is a list of people and things I live for, in no particular order.
Emma Lou, thank you for being so wonderfully thoughtful, even though seldom towards me, but when you pulled grandma's garbage cans in the other day, without anyone ever asking or expecting you to, my heart melted and I knew you are learning the good I try to teach you in life. You are a sweet, sweet, girl. I love you with every fiber of my being, sweet one.
Ryan, my little terrorist. Thank you for crying the other night when I explained to you how you were scaring our new little kitten. I now know you not only have an incredible sweet spot and are not pure evil, but I also know, you are listening when mommy talks. At least sometimes and maybe when it's important. Keep being sweet. Keep listening. Keep learning. Never doubt yourself because you have so much potential. I love you with my whole heart, little man.
Logan Michael, my precious little minion. Thank you for always letting me know you're hungry. because if you didn't, I would definitely forget to feed you 3 square meals and at least 3 snacks every day. Thank you for recognizing love in it's most horrifying forms (X3). Thank you for loving me more than hot dogs. You're a close second to coffee, but I mean very close. A pubic hair away. I love you more than peanut butter on a spoon.
Sexiest Man Alive. Thank you for supporting me in everything I do. For never giving me the response I want to hear, but always what I need. For being the best source of laughter, love and pure joy anyone could ever hope for. You are so important to me. I hope you know that and know how happy you make me. I truly hate your face, baby.
Mom. Thank you for always being a source of inspiration. You make me want to be a better person and never fail to remind me of where I came from and who I am. Thank you for being THE BEST grandmother any child could ever ask for. I honestly believe "Grandma" is who you were meant to be. You remind me of the 2 grandmothers I had (have) and my kids couldn't be luckier. Thank you fer keeping God in their lives. Thank you for keeping Granny in their lives. Thank you for keeping dad's memory alive in their minds. Thank you for loving me no matter how much I don't love myself at times.
All the rest of you fuckers that read my blog, support me through social media or somehow believe my life is a glorious display of folly on blast. I do appreciate your posts to my timeline, your comments on how fucking hilarious you think I am and your continued support of me fucking up my kids royally by being me. Honestly, you assholes are such gems.
Keep it classy.
So, here is a list of people and things I live for, in no particular order.
Emma Lou, thank you for being so wonderfully thoughtful, even though seldom towards me, but when you pulled grandma's garbage cans in the other day, without anyone ever asking or expecting you to, my heart melted and I knew you are learning the good I try to teach you in life. You are a sweet, sweet, girl. I love you with every fiber of my being, sweet one.
Ryan, my little terrorist. Thank you for crying the other night when I explained to you how you were scaring our new little kitten. I now know you not only have an incredible sweet spot and are not pure evil, but I also know, you are listening when mommy talks. At least sometimes and maybe when it's important. Keep being sweet. Keep listening. Keep learning. Never doubt yourself because you have so much potential. I love you with my whole heart, little man.
Logan Michael, my precious little minion. Thank you for always letting me know you're hungry. because if you didn't, I would definitely forget to feed you 3 square meals and at least 3 snacks every day. Thank you for recognizing love in it's most horrifying forms (X3). Thank you for loving me more than hot dogs. You're a close second to coffee, but I mean very close. A pubic hair away. I love you more than peanut butter on a spoon.
Sexiest Man Alive. Thank you for supporting me in everything I do. For never giving me the response I want to hear, but always what I need. For being the best source of laughter, love and pure joy anyone could ever hope for. You are so important to me. I hope you know that and know how happy you make me. I truly hate your face, baby.
Mom. Thank you for always being a source of inspiration. You make me want to be a better person and never fail to remind me of where I came from and who I am. Thank you for being THE BEST grandmother any child could ever ask for. I honestly believe "Grandma" is who you were meant to be. You remind me of the 2 grandmothers I had (have) and my kids couldn't be luckier. Thank you fer keeping God in their lives. Thank you for keeping Granny in their lives. Thank you for keeping dad's memory alive in their minds. Thank you for loving me no matter how much I don't love myself at times.
All the rest of you fuckers that read my blog, support me through social media or somehow believe my life is a glorious display of folly on blast. I do appreciate your posts to my timeline, your comments on how fucking hilarious you think I am and your continued support of me fucking up my kids royally by being me. Honestly, you assholes are such gems.
Keep it classy.
Saturday, August 2, 2014
"Tomorrow" is my 30th birthday. I put that in quotes because I am actually writing this on February 14th, a whole 6 months left in my 20s. I am sitting at TSMA's house after a few hours of drinking listening to him play his guitar upstairs. I am angry with my job, my life and the lack of progress I think I've made in my 29 years. I am sad because it disappoints me. I am broken because I think I disappoint my kids.
In any event, this song rings true as it always has, and especially now because, well, 29 and you'd think I'd know better, living like I do...
Time won't stand by forever if I know it's true
And I've learned not to say never
Or else I'll seem the fool
Twenty-nine you'd think I'd know better
Living like a kid
When my lies may seem less than clever
Is when I fall for it
Only time will tell if wishing wells
Can bring us anything
Or fade like scenes from childhood dreams
Forgotten memories
Some rides don't have much of a finish
That's the ride I took
Through good and bad and straight through indifference
Without a second look
There's no intentions worthy of mention
If we never try
So hang your hopes on rusted-out hinges
Take 'em for a ride
Only time will tell if wishing wells
Can bring us anything
Or fade like scenes from childhood dreams
Forgotten memories
Only time will tell...
In any event, this song rings true as it always has, and especially now because, well, 29 and you'd think I'd know better, living like I do...
Time won't stand by forever if I know it's true
And I've learned not to say never
Or else I'll seem the fool
Twenty-nine you'd think I'd know better
Living like a kid
When my lies may seem less than clever
Is when I fall for it
Only time will tell if wishing wells
Can bring us anything
Or fade like scenes from childhood dreams
Forgotten memories
Some rides don't have much of a finish
That's the ride I took
Through good and bad and straight through indifference
Without a second look
There's no intentions worthy of mention
If we never try
So hang your hopes on rusted-out hinges
Take 'em for a ride
Only time will tell if wishing wells
Can bring us anything
Or fade like scenes from childhood dreams
Forgotten memories
Only time will tell...
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
Sunday, July 13, 2014
sooooooo....mommas...feeling...
So....I had a...odd weekend. And I won't chronicle it here, because...trust me, you'd want to laugh, cry, cheer loudly and then shoot yourself in the face with lots of tequila. But what it's come down to tonight, is me sinking very quickly into that wonderfully black place I tend to get stuck in on occasion. So, in light of recognizing that and trying to avoid it, I decided to make a list of things I love about me. Things I actually, really LOVE about me. Little, sad, dark, sometimes pathetically both of those things...me. SOOOOO, hold on to your butts. Here I go...and in no order, other than things that are occurring to me as I type...
1-I love Mario. And I love it for A LOT of reasons. It gives me something to do when no one else is around. My kids LOVE watching me play which is fun because we actually bond over it. It brings back memories, that give me joy, of my childhood with my dad and siblings. OH! TSMA's dad also LOVES Mario. And while TSMA, his kids and his father may not enjoy my passionately based vocabulary over the game, I love that I can bond with someone who is so important in the life of a person that is...infinitely important in mine.
2-I know that an ellipsis's is THREE...dots...
3-I have an AWESOME ability to appreciate the interests and loves of people. Honestly, it is quite selfish because, I pray that I take something worth while or meaningful or I'll gain knowledge from doing so. EXAMPLE: Anyone I have EVER wanted to delete from social media accounts and HAVEN'T BECAUSE I feel their retardedness (yep, I'm coining that one. Pay up, bitches) is making me SMARTER. Or, the fact that...oh nevermind...where I was going is another thing I love about me. So, keep reading. I'm worth it.
4-Let's talk music. I listen to EVERYTHING. Well, that's a lie, because for the most part, I CANNOT stand country. But, occasionally, what all of you call "country" I will enjoy, on a purely lyrical basis. for instance, there is a song by someone or some band called Lady Antebellum that my kids love. Also, Hootie turned country. While his music annoys me, I still love the lyrics. AND, I mean honestly...I am me and choose what I like, but I have been influenced by every man I've dated. I love Zepplin because of my ex-husband. I love Chris Cornell because of the first man I dated after him. I liked Pearl Jam before, because of my dad, but I LOVE Eddie because of TSMA and I can honestly say, I love them more than someone who has only been exposed on a...proxy-like...???...basis, BECAUSE, my GUY, also plays them on his guitar for me, and for himself, really, but I DO get to hear it and I fucking love it. SO...By the by, I am grinding, alone, in my kitchen to Hurt Like Mine...Black Keys
5-I can mother fucking cook. I can.
6-I understand apartment living and I know this because I have not lynched anyone that may be deserving. Done.
7-I am horribly, wonderfully, incriminatingly, beautifully, forgivingly and forever thoughtful. I am thoughtful. It's an awful fault but wonderful beauty of who I am. I really don't have much to say about it...or maybe I do, but only because I feel my being that way has set an expectation for anyone I know.
I enjoy doing little things for people. People I love, people I don't know...for instance, I love buying coffee for the person behind me in line at Starbucks. I do it every other time I'm there. I LOVE when I go for a pedicure and take my daughter with me as a surprise. I love When my ex shows up to get the kids and I have a Monster waiting for him, and I CANNOT FUCKING STAND that man, anymore. I have, in the last week, set the coffee pot for The Sexiest Man Alive and set out a mug, with sugar and a spoon, waiting for him. I really get off on doing thoughtful things for others. It may be my supreme weakness because I think I have set an expectation for what I want from others. Those consistent little things. I haven't met anyone that does that. I could go on that subject...probably forever. People annoy me in that way. I really don't see it as anything other than being decent. And, you know, doing things that matter for the people you love. I just....it really bothers me when people miss THAT.
8-I love caffeine. And bacon. And if you bring me both without my asking, you win. You win more if you're the man I love and do that, duplicitly, and also give me sex. I'm easy to please.
9-I am loyal.
10-I'm...me. I'm real. I accept my flaws, mourn them and embrace them on a regular fucking, sad basis.
11-Bottom line is, I am, without question, worth knowing. If any of you, sad, shallow, shells of humans are still following my shit...delete me. Please. You're doing yourself a favor. My awesome is too much for you to handle.
So, there is me. Tooting my own horn, slobbing my own knob and not caring if you come...me. Sadly, I've gotten back to that place. I'll crawl out of it. But in the mean time, I'm just going to feel it. because lets face it...I do that best.
1-I love Mario. And I love it for A LOT of reasons. It gives me something to do when no one else is around. My kids LOVE watching me play which is fun because we actually bond over it. It brings back memories, that give me joy, of my childhood with my dad and siblings. OH! TSMA's dad also LOVES Mario. And while TSMA, his kids and his father may not enjoy my passionately based vocabulary over the game, I love that I can bond with someone who is so important in the life of a person that is...infinitely important in mine.
2-I know that an ellipsis's is THREE...dots...
3-I have an AWESOME ability to appreciate the interests and loves of people. Honestly, it is quite selfish because, I pray that I take something worth while or meaningful or I'll gain knowledge from doing so. EXAMPLE: Anyone I have EVER wanted to delete from social media accounts and HAVEN'T BECAUSE I feel their retardedness (yep, I'm coining that one. Pay up, bitches) is making me SMARTER. Or, the fact that...oh nevermind...where I was going is another thing I love about me. So, keep reading. I'm worth it.
4-Let's talk music. I listen to EVERYTHING. Well, that's a lie, because for the most part, I CANNOT stand country. But, occasionally, what all of you call "country" I will enjoy, on a purely lyrical basis. for instance, there is a song by someone or some band called Lady Antebellum that my kids love. Also, Hootie turned country. While his music annoys me, I still love the lyrics. AND, I mean honestly...I am me and choose what I like, but I have been influenced by every man I've dated. I love Zepplin because of my ex-husband. I love Chris Cornell because of the first man I dated after him. I liked Pearl Jam before, because of my dad, but I LOVE Eddie because of TSMA and I can honestly say, I love them more than someone who has only been exposed on a...proxy-like...???...basis, BECAUSE, my GUY, also plays them on his guitar for me, and for himself, really, but I DO get to hear it and I fucking love it. SO...By the by, I am grinding, alone, in my kitchen to Hurt Like Mine...Black Keys
5-I can mother fucking cook. I can.
6-I understand apartment living and I know this because I have not lynched anyone that may be deserving. Done.
7-I am horribly, wonderfully, incriminatingly, beautifully, forgivingly and forever thoughtful. I am thoughtful. It's an awful fault but wonderful beauty of who I am. I really don't have much to say about it...or maybe I do, but only because I feel my being that way has set an expectation for anyone I know.
I enjoy doing little things for people. People I love, people I don't know...for instance, I love buying coffee for the person behind me in line at Starbucks. I do it every other time I'm there. I LOVE when I go for a pedicure and take my daughter with me as a surprise. I love When my ex shows up to get the kids and I have a Monster waiting for him, and I CANNOT FUCKING STAND that man, anymore. I have, in the last week, set the coffee pot for The Sexiest Man Alive and set out a mug, with sugar and a spoon, waiting for him. I really get off on doing thoughtful things for others. It may be my supreme weakness because I think I have set an expectation for what I want from others. Those consistent little things. I haven't met anyone that does that. I could go on that subject...probably forever. People annoy me in that way. I really don't see it as anything other than being decent. And, you know, doing things that matter for the people you love. I just....it really bothers me when people miss THAT.
8-I love caffeine. And bacon. And if you bring me both without my asking, you win. You win more if you're the man I love and do that, duplicitly, and also give me sex. I'm easy to please.
9-I am loyal.
10-I'm...me. I'm real. I accept my flaws, mourn them and embrace them on a regular fucking, sad basis.
11-Bottom line is, I am, without question, worth knowing. If any of you, sad, shallow, shells of humans are still following my shit...delete me. Please. You're doing yourself a favor. My awesome is too much for you to handle.
So, there is me. Tooting my own horn, slobbing my own knob and not caring if you come...me. Sadly, I've gotten back to that place. I'll crawl out of it. But in the mean time, I'm just going to feel it. because lets face it...I do that best.
Monday, May 12, 2014
Soooo...A Top 5 Shuffle...For AWESOME Times...
So...in spite of....or possibly BECAUSE of, the truly...shitastic, horrible, awesome, wonderful place things have taken a well...needed...I guess...turn to...I decided it was time for a top 5 SHUFFLE!
So here you go!
5. State of Grace-Billy Joel
4. Lightning Bolt-Pearl Jam (sadly I couldn't find a link for this video, but here's the lyrics)
3. Not the Doctor-Alanis
2. Look Away-Hootie
1. Wishlist-Pearl Jam
And I guess that's why Pandora owns me.
So here you go!
5. State of Grace-Billy Joel
4. Lightning Bolt-Pearl Jam (sadly I couldn't find a link for this video, but here's the lyrics)
3. Not the Doctor-Alanis
2. Look Away-Hootie
1. Wishlist-Pearl Jam
And I guess that's why Pandora owns me.
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