Why did God send me you? Why did our paths cross? Did I gain or lose something in our time so far that has gone unnoticed by me? Being a firm believer of everything happens for a reason, you would think I wouldn't feel the need to have answers to these questions. I usually don't need to know. I may struggle with worry and stress over one topic for a short while, but in the end I let it go because I know I don't have control over most things. I never need to know because I have faith. The utmost faith. Faith stronger than I ever thought possible. I have to. At the end of the day, faith is all I have. Its all one should ever need. Then why can't I let it go, knowing what I do about faith? Why can't I just let it play out? Not play out?
Maybe its nothing. Maybe you were simply here to do something that has already been done that I didn't even see happen...but if that's the case then why do I have this tugging in the back of my brain when I think about you? In my heart when I dream about you? Why, even when I try to push your existence under and let you drift away, do you always resurface?
The dream is just that, a dream. I know that. I have never lived in Fantasy Land. I lost my belief in Prince Charming, white horses and glass slippers by the time I turned 15. But still you're here. It's not that I even think your existence in my life is for the purpose of romance or love at all. I really don't.
The reality is cruel. Harsh. Unfair. Life is all those things. The dreamer in me desperately wants to kick the shit out of the realist I am. Even knowing the reality of it all, I still cling to that possibility and am willing to take the chance. I don't see any reason not to.
I am at a position in my life where taking a risk such as the one we've posed isn't going to be much of a risk at all. I have no expectations. No expectations. I simply have this tugging in my head and in my heart and that's all I know. Right now, its enough.
