Sooooo...This Is Another Post Lacking Direction Where I Think I Maybe Said Something Mildly Intriguing And Possibly Profound...

Soooooo...I had a pretty terrible day today. I won't go into the details as to why it was so terrible, but I will tell you it started out gross and disgusting and required laundry to be done that I didn't have time for, what with 3 kids to get to school and a job to be at. And then it didn't get much better. And I cried, from a very real place, not that this-sucks-and-I-didn't-get-my-way kind of cry, but the real kind that sort of rocks you, exhausts you and then leaves you barely breathing kind of cry. And then after a 10 hour shift at work, I had to drive another 20 minutes for a hair appointment I was more than due for. The whole way there I didn't want to go. I was thinking about the laundry and the kids I wasn't going to see when I got home and the way our lives are going to change in the next few months.

I knew TSMA was going to come over and wait for me to get home tonight, because he's awesome like that and we really don't ask a whole lot out of each other. We really do spend every available moment together, which more times than not is spent with his or my children because we are both parents and both our lives revolve around that and the people they are becoming.

So I asked him last night if he would please be here when I got home tonight, at my house, because I knew this appointment would run late and I know we both have early mornings. But I gave him a key recently in hopes he would utilize it on nights like this. I also asked him something very uncharacteristic of our relationship and that was to take the laundry from my washing machine that I needed, so desperately needed in order to crawl in bed tonight, and put it in the dryer because between 5:30am when I woke up and 10pm when I finally returned home, I simply didn't have time to do it.

After coming in the door tonight after such a horrible day (I cried, a lot today, at work no less) and finding him burrowed in my couch watching a movie, I walked in and plopped my ass straight on his lap. I laid there for a few minutes before moving and neither of us spoke. After I extricated myself from the comfort of his embrace and tiredly pulled on my sweats and returned to my nook in his lap he spoke. He told me he knew my day had been horrible and he wasn't downplaying that, but for as horrible as mine had been, his equaled it. So I listened to him tell me the things that so rightfully had broken his heart today. Mine broke with his. He was right, so right...and then as life has a cruel way of expressing the fact that we as individuals are not appreciated, told me how his day was shattered and how his feelings for the thing he cares most about was dismissed and brushed under a rug and all in the name of selfishness, and possibly a slight bit of something resembling naivety.

After we talked, I asked if he had put the laundry I so needed in the dryer for me. He was silent for a half a second and said, no. He hadn't. I told him it was ok and he apologized and I said there wasn't a need to. I changed the loads and returned to the couch and he said he was a total ass, or some more intelligent synonym of that, and I told him he wasn't, not to worry about it, it really wasn't a big deal.

And then I had an epiphany of sorts.

Had he been any other man I have ever had a romantic relationship I would have been upset. I would have shut down, blown up or walked away with disappointment. Why didn't I do that with him? I have known this man not even a year, but I know him on a level that no past relationship has even ever compared to. He treats me better than any human being I have ever known. He supports me, he loves me (in the generic sense of the word), he genuinely wants to see me do well and he does NOTHING but build me up. He does so much of that, that when he occasionally has a complaint or observation and criticism of me that I may not respond well to, I take it for what it is and try to grow into a better person.

The realization I had is that if you spend enough time loving someone, and I mean really loving them-not the romantic, lust driven emotion so many people mistake as love, but actually love someone, that those few occasions when you don't come through on something like switching loads of laundry...they won't even be a conversation, much less a fight.

I guess my point, and I do have one, is simple: people spend way too much time worrying about things that really don't matter. More so, I gained even more insight and respect into this thing he and I are doing. I learn more and more each day, with every hour we have together (and really, yes, one could measure the time we are awake and interacting with one another in hours). Each morning he leaves me after a cup of coffee and a smoke, I walk back inside feeling like that part of my heart that has been empty and restless my entire life, is a little bit more full. If you know me at all you know how terrifying that is for me.

I am so indescribably happy this man is a part of my life. He has redefined my idea of a very basic emotion and feeling that people, as a general population, have tried to define throughout the existence of human kind.

All I really know is how happy I am that I met him. I look forward to whatever time I have getting to know him better. He makes my heart happy.

Soooooo...How Did I Get This Lucky?...

Every time I look at you

I'm just like,

Yep, that's MY guy

So today I looked at my Facebook homepage thingy screen or whatever its called. And I must confess that if any random douche canoe fell upon and thought to themselves, "Hey!? Who the fuck is this Katelynn Patterson Barrett chic?" (not that anyone would, but I am thinking in the aspects of me being the epitome of awesome tonight so fuck you guys and your bullshit) they would see my home screen (or WHATEVER THE FUCK IT IS CALLED) and make their assumptions.

"She has 3 kids...she must love them a lot...they're her cover photo."

"She's stunningly gorgeous and can't see for shit, what with those Coke bottle glasses plastered to her mug."

"Oh I'd like to bang that female, but alas, she has the arm of the sexiest man I have ever seen living slung around her shoulder. Bummer, dudes."

"Oh look! Bitch graduated high school, lives relatively close to there and works for a living now. Bitch is fucking smart as hell, loves her family and appreciates the little things in life."

"Divorced?? Who the fuck is that sexy beast in her profile picture? Bitch has 3 kids....boyfriend that rivals Brad Pitt in looks and Stephan Hawking in intelligence....da fuuuuk?...OH! She must have realized life was more than the ups and downs of everyday life, left her husband, got with a dude that treats her AND her kids right and got right with LIFE."

And you know what? I think that would be an incredibly right assumption, based on this...