This is a picture of my kids and I this afternoon. We're sitting on the couch watching The Simpson's (which I later turned off because, well, its really just NOT ok for a 5, 4 and 3 year old to be watching it). Anyway, its slightly out of focus, the boys are watching tv instead of looking at the camera and my hair looks ridiculous. I love this picture. This picture represents a new era of traditions for me that I am somewhat...nervous about...uneasy with. This is the first holiday in 10 years that my husband and I are not together. It's definitely strange and while I did invite him to join us, he politely declined as spending holidays together is not what divorce is about. He's absolutely right.
We are having a good day. My sister isn't here. My Granny isn't here. My dad isn't here. My husband isn't here. My brother has barely emerged from his bedroom and my mom and I are pretty much just hanging out like its any other day. But its not. It is Thanksgiving day and so many people I care about aren't here. So I am feeling bitter. Lonely. Somehow, though, I am at peace. I guess because I know this is right. Having gone through major loss before I know the first year is the most difficult to get through. But I am. Its 4pm. I am going to check my turkey, which is on the Weber, watch the Cowgirls and later I'll be watching Trains, Planes and Automobiles with my family because while so many things have changed, those are traditions I love. Also, I will be removing my pants because pants are bullshit, duh, and I've gained about 12lbs in the last 3 days and they're tight. Life is short. Enjoy every sandwich. Eat lots of turkey. And love without a cause or purpose.
So, Happy Thanksgiving, bitches.
Love this photo SO much. Thankful for you and yours.
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