Things I've learned...

Burping and swallowing at the same moment results in a severe coughing fit.

If you find a man who can give a good massage and is willing to do it without even thinking about it, marry him. That skill alone is worth more than any character flaw he may possess.

Kids will only hear you when you're saying something utterly foul. They will only repeat it at the most inappropriate time possible, like in the communion line at church...to the pastor.

It's okay to fall in love. Even if it doesn't last and even if it breaks your heart.

If you find a hobby that makes you happy, stick with it. I seldom cook anymore and haven't ran even a mile in over a year now when I was running 5-8 daily.

Drive-thru tacos only taste good at 2am.

Nothing good happens after 2am.

If he isn't invested enough to be thoughtful and considerate, he isn't invested enough. Walk away.

Beer tastes best when poured from a clean line, into a chilled glass.

2:30am is a completely acceptable time to make and eat a grilled cheese...it is also the ONLY good thing that ever happens after 2am.

There is nothing wrong with eating an entire box of Girl Scout cookies in one seating...as long as it only happens once a year and you chase it with a large glass of milk.

It doesn't matter how many hours you work, how much time you have or how tired and uninvolved you may be-your kids want you to listen to them. Listen to them tell you about the Play-Doh dog that poops blue sparkly shit. Listen to them tell you, for the fourteenth hundren time, about the bad kid in school that doesn't follow the rules, picks his nose, hits other kids and broke the most coveted class toy-then thank Christ it isn't your kid behaving that way. It means you're doing a good job.

Single parents, made single by any circumstance, are heroes.

The key to a happy and successful relationship is two people who care equally about the happiness and well being of the other party. If you're not putting forth full effort to make your partner happy, they aren't the one. In the same respect, if you're with someone and you aren't feeling a reciprocated appreciation from them, then they aren't the one.

There are some things about men, that despite any major flaw they may have (yes, even if he is a mouth breather, there are things that can save him) that are undeniably sexy. To name a few...men on motorcycles, men that can cook, men that play guitar and men that do housework (yes. I detest housework and definitely consider a man scrubbing a toilet and hanging my mounds of laundry a major turn-on).

Becoming a parent is easy. Parenting is...well...at times...impossible.

Watching someone you love die is the hardest, most character-building, life-changing experience you will ever go through.

Treating others with the same kindnesses you'd wish to be treated with pays off in more ways that you ever realize.

One can never count their blessings too many times.

3am is the perfect time to consider all the things you've learned.