Perpetually Unsatisfied...

Satisfaction-Fulfillment of one's wishes, expectations, or needs, or the pleasure derived from this.

I started a post recently that I never published about the perpetually miserable people of the world. I have never considered myself a miserable person. I find joy in most every part of life and while I have had enough of my own crap to deal with, as we all do, I tend to find the silver lining. Granted I haven't always been like this. I was once a teenager. I attribute my coming around simply to coming of age.

That said...there are people out there that are miserable and while I feel badly, I know they create their own misery. What about those of us that simply wish for more? Those of us that feel life has so much to offer and we want to soak up every ounce of it, even if it means missing out on something that could be lasting and indefintely fullfilling?

I think that there is a huge difference in being miserable and being unsatisfied. I feel I am one of God's favorites. His perpetually unsatisfied. I believe my dad was, too, and I have a few friends that I think fit into this category as well. I don't think this means we are eternally unsatisfied because we have a "the grass is greener on the other side" attitude about things. I think it stems more from a place that believes life has more to give us than we've been able to find. And that is what the search is all about.

I think the people like me are the people that have always, as long as can be remembered, had a void in their soul. One that has always been very much felt. The question that has been burning in my mind lately is not WHAT fills that void-I think it can be a number of things; a relationship, a job, a hobby...anything, but what I want to know is HOW to fill the void. I thought it could be done by taking risks, living life and experiencing pain. I still believe these are all steps in the process. But what else? Is there more? Is that void capable of being filled at all or is it an endless, exhausting journey that leaves us forever perpetually unsatisfied? I wonder if the satisfaction we seek is found after death. But that is an entirely different level of questioning that I'm not ready to delve into quite yet.

For now...I need to choose a career path.

Suggestions?