WTF, brain?

I have spent entirely too much of my time thinking lately. About anything and everything. It's as if my mind has become a safe haven for the rejected thoughts of others and they're all swirling around in my head, bumping into each other and occasionally spitting themselves out of my mouth in verbage that may or may not make any sense to anyone that happens to be within earshot.

For instance, these are the thoughts currently running through my head:

I need to buy Drano for the bathroom sink-Emma and I lose entirely too much hair and that drain is just, well, simply put its fucked.

What is the difference REALLY between the 16GB Galaxy 3S and the 32GB...and if you answer 16GBs, I'll punch you in the throat. With a chair.

Holy shit, this coffee is effing hot!

I wonder if that bastard in the Obama sweatshirt looked at my ballot at the polls today. Sneeky fucker.

I've had 3 friends, all men, stop talking to me all of a sudden. What the hell is up with THAT? I'm awesome as shit. They must have all had strokes or something happen that left them incapable of using a phone. That has to be it.

I don't know if I like being a red head as much as I thought I would. I think it uglified my already questionable attractivness.

I hope Pervy Perverson from work last night that made about 546 comments about my body gets run over by a stampede of flaming homosexuals. I don't know why they'd be stampeding, but thats definitely irrelevant here.

How many bitches will I have to slap to get silverware rolled at work tonight? And what is that thing Jess said I have to tell them? GTB? GTL? I don't know. Why can't I keep up with pop-culture?

Am I going to be alone forever because I am so consistantly restless and always questioning my choices in men. life and parenting? Or will it be because while I'm awesome when hiding behind my computer screen, I'm full of insecurities and see only my flaws when face to face with the male species?

8 weeks from today I will be in St. Louis with my family and I am so freaking excited I MIGHT briefly lose control of my undersized bladder!!!

I wonder how much of my stuff my ex-husband rifled through when he brought my kids home to my house last night before my friend showed up to watch them...did he find all the drugs, pornographic pictures, loaded firearms and mini meth lab I hid???

And that's the randomness my brain has been on the last few days. I know. I read through it all again before I clicked 'publish' and just shook my head, too.