Stuck In A Rut...

I am stuck in a rut. This happens to me this time of year. My dad use to tell me to pop it into 4x4 and climb the hell out. So it doesn't surprise me when this is the advice I get from all my 4x4 enthusiast friends. I remind them, gone are my days of muddin'. I traded the Jeep in for a minivan when I discovered I was expecting my third (and final!) baby.

I don't have ANY energy. I don't sleep well at night, I toss and turn, as soon as I am almost out a kid comes and wakes me up, my husband's snoring wakes me up or the alarm clock goes off and I have to get up anyway. Then if it is a Monday, Wednesday or Friday, 2 of my kids have preschool so we are driving the 45 minutes to and from school. If it is Tuesday or Thursday, then I would normally do housework, play games with the kids, read books with them, color...play outside if it's spring or summer (I hate the cold with a passion and getting me out in the snow, even with my precious babies, takes a miracle). When I am stuck in a rut, the housework sits, my kids get bored and I never change out of my pajamas from the night before.

Then it gets worse. The guilt of leaving my kids to entertain themselves (or worse, leaving the tv in charge) while I wallow in depression only deepens the rut. Then it becomes almost impossible to climb out of. My husband says its ok to have days like this. My mom agrees. I just feel like I have more days 'like this' than should be allowed.

It is the lack of energy that really amazes me. Most days I struggle just to keep my eyes OPEN. Maybe part of it is that I keep my thermostat set at 62 since hubby became unemployed. I think we're all suffering from hypothermia!

I am ready for the spring. Or a vacation to a place with warmth and sunshine. That might just be what it takes to climb the hell outta this one.  Since that won't be happening anytime soon, I'm sure I'll kick it. I may just need someone to pull me out this time.