I never thought that any of this divorce stuff would be easy on my kids. I knew there would be many challenges. While I watch them, my youngest and oldest are doing quite well. They use their words, even at the tender ages of 3 and 5, to express their feelings about all the changes taking place in their lives. My 4 year old is having the toughest time and my heart aches every time I look at him. He gets VERY frustrated, out of nowhere, over nothing. He tells me he wants to go home, not live at Grandma's house, he is cold, cranky or tired. These are the words he uses to tell me, "Mom, this effing sucks and I don't like the way life is right now!!!". I know this. He IS learning, after a very emotional talk he and I had, to hug me when he is upset or angry instead of lashing out. I am amazed at the way he is so quickly embracing this way of dealing with his emotions. That said, his outbursts and tantrums are still a daily struggle.
Last year Ryan started preschool in January at the same school as Emma (which happens to be part of the church I attend regularly). He LOVED it. He especially took to the teachers aid, Mrs. Ransom. The school and church are an HOUR from the house we lived in and I drove them there 3x a week because they were so incredibly happy there. Since it was preschool there weren't any boundaries as to where they could attend so it wasn't a problem. This year; however, with Emma starting kindergarten at the school near our home, I had to find a new preschool for Ryan. I decided on a school run out of the Methodist church my kids attended VBS at this past summer. I loved the teachers, the fact that they said the Pledge of Allegiance every morning and that they had a bunny rabbit as a classroom pet (I have a thing for cute little bunnies). School started the day after Ryan's 4th birthday. He HATED it. HATED it. Cried-like, the kind of cries that shook his entire body. SOBS. He clung to me, pulled on my clothes and didn't want me to leave. This was a very new experience for me. My kids had NEVER behaved like this. EVER. Of course after the teacher pulled him off of me and got him calm and distracted with some awesome toy, he was fine and had a great time...until the next day of school where we started the whole process over again. It killed me.
So, with him having so many difficulties with the divorce, starting a new school, etc, I was extremely nervous about moving my family in with my mom. This required pulling him out of school and starting again somewhere else. The good thing is, moving in with my mom put us just 10 minutes away from the school he loved and attended last year! YAY!
I just got back from dropping him off for his first day back there. Even though he loved it and was going to have Mrs. Ransom as a teachers aid again, he was still telling me he didn't want to go. And I was a nervous wreck. I am so, so, SO happy to report that when I dropped him off today, he spotted Mrs. Ransom, ran past the new teacher, wrapped his arms around her neck and didn't even look back to say good-bye to me. I left in tears, but because I am so relieved that he FINALLY has something happening in his little life that makes his heart happy. I can't wait to pick him up and see how much fun he had today!
This is a happy day for me! One, maybe minor, success in this whole process!!!
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