You know those days when you're just so over everyone and their shit and everything and all it's shit? The days where nothing short of a bottle of wine, followed by dirty, drunken, sex, followed by a drunken coma will make you happy (and by happy I mean less inclined to kill anyone that gets between you and the two previously listed pleasures)? I'm so beyond having one of those days that I've said, 'fuck wine, fuck margaritas, gimme the tequila and go the hell away'.
I think normal people get in this place of pure disdain for life and turn to their friends and cocktails. I get in this place and create wedges of anger between the people that I care for most and myself. All I really want is to curl up with my kids and watch a movie and then fall into bed with TSMA and go to sleep. But because there is the possibility of my not getting what I want when I'm already in a crabby fucking mood, I tell him to pretty much fuck off, I'll see you whenever. Exactly the opposite of what I really want, but why would make myself more vulnerable than I already am right now? I am in the business of protecting my heart and maintaining it's walls; not opening the gate to an army.
With all that said, I think I need to start expressing myself a little better to this man because he really seldom does anything that annoys me (oh there are a few things, but they aren't important enough to really worry about at this point in our relationship) and I am sure I do many things that annoy him (maybe not, I am pretty fucking awesome, the epitome of, in fact). Whatever the case, I think that if we are going to flourish in our respected places of awesome, we need to start communicating a little better and going the extra mile to try and understand one another's feelings, even if we don't understand them.
It might just be the tequila talking or I might be a genius. Either way, cheers, bitches!
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